What do I mean by ‘Divine Feminine’ and ‘Divine Masculine’? (And what do I mean by their opposites, ‘Toxic Feminine’ and ‘Toxic Masculine’?)

MahaShivratri 2019 : Ardhnarishwar Temples in India - PenPaperHeart, masculine and feminine energy
Image source: Penpaperheart.com

I’ve often talked about ‘Divine Feminine’ as being about nurture, compassion, and creativity, and ‘Divine Masculine’ being about stewardship of the earth, strategy and building for a new world, but what do I actually mean by this? In practice, what do these character traits that (I would argue) we all have within us, look like on a day-to-day basis? And on the other end of the scale, what does an ‘immature’ or ‘Toxic Masculine’ and immature or ‘Toxic Feminine’ look like, in our day-to-day lives?

I’ve created some summaries here:

I would argue that we all have ‘Divine Feminine’ and Divine Masculine’ energies within us… we can problem solve, we can all share how we feel, as can all be nurturing, we can all make decisions. I think its doing us a disservice, as people, if we suggest that we must completely abandon some of our qualities, in order to fit with what we assume makes someone a ‘man’ or a ‘woman.’

For example, I would argue, it’s ok to be a stay at home Dad, and look after the kids. It’s ok to be female scientist. It’s ok to be a a stay-at-home dad, and actually still really like DIY. It’s ok to be a female scientist, and actually still really like getting your nails done.

I think the idea that we either have to be ‘hyper-feminine’ or ‘hyper-masculine’ is really the issue here. These gendered terms are fluid, and we all have softness and strength within us.

Trying to ‘fit’ into a gender role, is really somebody else’s ego telling you to do this.

I’m not finger pointing here, I’ve totally done this myself many times. I’ve taken a job with low wages, even though I had a First Class Degree and a Masters, and I didn’t think twice about doing it – I just assumed it was fine to earn significantly less than in a more ‘masculine’ industry or area, and it was only in time that I started to get a bit angry.

I’ve gone through periods of my life where I really haven’t liked my body very much, and used to feel very self-conscious around everyone (without prejudice). I used to think that speaking out was ‘unfeminine.’ I used to think that having ambition was ‘unfeminine.’

I’m angry about what trying to fit into the gender binary really did to my self-esteem, but I’m honestly not sure who to be angry with. I think no-one’s winning in this hyper-gendered society.

I think it’s not uncommon for men to take jobs in ‘high earning’ professions, because they feel the pressure to be the ‘provider,’ or they feel the pressure to be ‘the man.’

I think this gender binary is so old that we’ve actually forgotten that it’s a bit of a joke.

I think in order to heal from the ‘Toxic Masculine’ and ‘Toxic Feminine,’ it’s essential that we recognise the ‘Divine Masculine’ and ‘Divine Feminine’ is within all of us.

I think I think if you’re finding yourself feeling a bit uncomfortable reading any of the ‘Toxic Masculine’ or ‘Toxic Feminine’ traits in the above images, it’s always possible to find your own healing for this, in your own time and in your own way.  

It’s always possible to be you, and you are amazing 😊

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